Ask me what I remember from this past year and I wouldn't remember much without some serious thought. But this year, I realize, has been one of the biggest ever. Even if there wasn't much to remember of it.
I guess the best place to start is the beginning of it all!
December 2010:
I start here because something crucial in my life happened, and I don't think I've really written it down. In the beginning of the month I was taken to the ER at Primary Children's Medical Center for the horrible migraines I'd been dealing with. My visit consisted of an IV, an MRI--my first one that I can remember and I never want one again. The nurse there hadn't put an earphone in all the way, and the noises had made my headache so bad my vision blurred horribly for the next hour--and a spinal tap. Everything looked normal. So I was sent home with medicine to make me sleep for two days straight--which I dreaded because I'd been admitted a month earlier because I was sleeping too much and had passed out. Anyway, two days later my dad would check on me and decide whether or not to take me back. Well, about a week later I was admitted once again to receive a medicine called DHE. My dad wanted a PICC line because the medicine is really harsh on your veins. So, for 3 days and 2 nights I was probably the most uncomfortable I've been in my entire life. I was nauseous, tired, hurting, ornery, and hating my life. But at least I didn't have to stay an entire week. My migraines were killed off by the DHE and I was given something that would get rid of an oncoming migraine the next time I needed it. Let's just say I wasn't in the best mood when new years came around..
January:
The guys pref dance--big green tractor. Of course. When I heard about it I couldn't help but laugh. What a strange theme...there was absolutely no way i'd be going to that. No way. I got asked to it--the world hates me--but luckily it was one of my great friends. :) He agreed to my 'rebel' idea. Instead of dirty jeans, mucky cowboy boots, straw-filled hats, and 'lumberjack' shirts, we would be the only dark, clean jeaned, black leather jacket wearing, cleanliness all over people there. Definitely a funny night. Of course we had some looks thrown toward us by the party planners...but someone always has to go against the system, right? ;) The rest of the month was spent in sickness on my part. Horrible sores in my mouth that made it hard to eat, and then the flu. I'm still convinced to this day that my body has become immune to that dumb flu shot. During that time I made a pretty big decision; I will not get married until I'm at least 27. And that was the end of it.
February:
Bryce Canyon with the McKellars! It's always my most favorite thing to do before my birthday. We did so many things; cross-country skiing, oh, so many pictures in the car, snow shoeing...endless amounts of fun. And maybe one little argument in between, but who couldn't live without those? ;)
This month was the one of my life guarding class too...oh man. So many great friendships made. I'm sure I was the oldest there, but it was still so much fun. And stressful. But I got through it just fine! Then the official beginning to my 18th year of life. And how did I start it? By writing, of course. And things were looking up. Finally.
March:
And here comes yet another hospital visit. Those ridiculous migraines were ruining me. I don't remember having to stay there again, and it was only because I had taken imitrex before that I didn't. The DHE couldn't be given to me because of that. Thank the heavens above. The neurologist--bless his heart--gave me a steroid to kill the pain instead, saving me another long visit there. And then I went home with another prescription. Topamax. And this one was a daily med. I started to lose my appetite, and I lost a lot of weight. But as long as it was keeping my migraines away...I was going to deal with it. And I did. I even dealt with the tingling that stopped me from playing my violin sometimes. But not everything in that month was bad. I was chosen to be the prose editor for the school's literary art magazine. And I enjoyed that so much. It kept my mind off of the bad and made me focus on the good. The magazine is definitely one of the highlights of my life!
April:
Orchestra Tour. Seattle, WA. The most amazing week of my life. We went to the EMP, rode the ducks--not particularly my favorite, performed at a festival, and went to the Seattle Symphony. And let me just say now, music has never been so close to bringing me to tears as it did listening to them. And then Seattle. It was gorgeous. I loved the rain everyday, and the Farmers Market. It was all so different than what I'm used to, and it was a different that I really loved. But, on the way home, I got a little sick. So I spent the driving hours sleeping, and trying my best to keep lunch down. I probably slept for the next few days when I got home, too. And amazing trip, but really tiring.
May:
My last official month of High School. I was ecstatic. Nothing in the world could have made me happier at the time. I wouldn't have to deal with the hoards of idiotic kids roaming halls and complaining all the time. I would officially be an adult. Finally! But, I refused to go to graduation. To me, it was an unnecessary celebration of all the useless things learned. And all we got was a piece of paper with our names on it, pretty much only saying 'good job, now go learn something useful' on it. College graduation would be so much more satisfying to go to. All the people I knew thought I was crazy. But I thought they were out of their minds for thinking it.
June:
I successfully did not go to graduation. :) Best day ever. But this month was when a friend of mine left for basic training. And that was a little upsetting for a short time. But we move on, and feelings grow less painful over time. We wrote letters to each other, and that was a new experience. I found it entertaining. And the first month of my 'summer of freedom' started looking up to bigger, better things. I had fun playing around with some of my really good friends.
July:
Walking. And walking. And walking. :) my best friend in the neighborhood and I went on so many walks, I thought our feet might fall off. But they stayed in tact and we kept going. Little did he know that I was preparing him for the Trek that he would go on soon. But our walks quickly became so much more than that. I depended on those walks to keep me happy. And just how we kept putting one foot in front of the other, I learned to keep moving on in life. Those walks taught me a little lesson or two about life. Mom started to get suspicious though. The 'just friends' line wasn't working for her anymore. At the end of the month he left for trek, and I don't think I've missed anyone that bad in my entire life.
August:
My first kiss. :) and who better to share it with than my best friend? This is the month of change for me. After all the talks, laughs, walks...we finally officially paired off. And I was at my happiest. This is when I started to want to go to church. This is when I found my greatest joys. And I will never forget them. This might have been a month with little events, but it is a month that I will make sure to always remember. This is my peak. I had reached the top of a difficult mountain, and I was set on staying there at the top for as long as I could manage.
September:
My first time shooting. Terrifying, but so much fun. I hit the target dead on my seconds shot, but I had absolutely no precision after that. Embarrassing. But I enjoyed watching my dad and brother shoot, as well as my boyfriend and his dad. We had a great time! Later that month was moving time. There was a situation happening with our home--lots of things breaking--so we moved into an apartment a little bit away. Another move. I was not happy. That mountain I'd climbed had crumbled and turned to dust. But I learned from moving, once again, and after a couple days of sad, I made myself get over it.
October:
Halloween--the most dreaded of all holidays. Especially this year. But, this was another month of change. I found who I was and what I want in life. I realized that even though I may not know exactly what to study, or exactly where I want to go, I am still a daughter of a loving God and he will provide. I realize that I have a duty while I'm living here on earth and in time it will be revealed to me. And, I also realized, after so many nights of seemingly hopeless frustration and tears, that it's okay for me to go for what I what. Do what I'd like. My parents have taught me everything they can. Now it's my turn to use my lessons learned and be who I really am. If it feels wrong to me, then it is. I know how it works a little bit more every day.
November:
Second major fight with little boy. Kind of a sad month for me. I got confused with what my parents wanted and what I did. But in my heart I knew. Breaking up would do nothing but tear me apart. Being with him is like breathing. I need him there for me. And he feels the same. Breaking up did not last long. We couldn't do it. It was so hard..like someone crushing you to the point where breath becomes difficult to take in. But this is where I realized I really, really love him. And I will for forever. Thanksgiving came around, and everything went back to normal. Apart from stress caused by fights with a few people, I was happy. I could do anything.
December:
Christmas time brings joy. It's not just about the gifts you get or the commercialized part of it with 'Santa Claus' and all the fairy tales. What I loved about this month was giving. I could actually buy things to give to others, and that feeling of their happiness made me happy. But I did get my gifts too ;) gift cards, a London Olympic shirt, pajamas, journals, a quill, ink, and a beautiful ring. I loved everything. Especially the ring my boyfriend gave me...so beautiful. No engagement quite yet ;) just a fulfilling of my obsession with the little piece of jewelry. But it makes me happy to know that he went out of his way to look for it. And it makes me even happier to know that he cares and so do all the people around me.
So, after some serious thought and reflection...I'd say this year has been an unforgettable one.
Now it's time to make more of those memories!
Happy New Year Everyone! :)
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