Everyone around me is being irrational with their yelling,
crying, observing, stupidity, and idiocy. Yet, that’s what we are: a bunch of
idiots screaming, “I’m right and you’re wrong!” When we know that there isn’t
any truth in the statement. We each find what is right for ourselves, do we
not? Whether it be through a hard, difficult road or an easier, safer path…we
all eventually determine what we’ve always wanted for ourselves.
So, why is it that other people make a point to get in the
way?
Our decisions are never fit for their taste; we don’t make
choices that rise up to their expectations…
But, I often find myself asking, what does it matter?
If choosing what they would have wanted will ultimately make
me unhappy…why listen? Because it’s how they’d rather me be? Because it’s the ‘right
thing’?
The right thing…what is the right thing? The answer varies
for almost every single being.
According to my religion, if I’m living righteously, if I
desire righteous things, then what is in my heart is right. What is good for me
is right.
We are not here to live for other people. We’re here, in the
end, to find who we are as individuals, to recognize our decisions and why we’ve
made them. We are here to reach happiness. Each individual level. It doesn’t
matter if someone else might think you’re unhappy. If you’re doing the right
thing, and you know it in your heart, know it with all you are that it’s what
makes you happy, then go after it! There’s no sense in passing up an opportunity
to learn and grow. At some point, you’ll have to say goodbye to those people
who seek to control you’re every move, no matter how much comfort you find in
that. The second you learn to let go you’ll learn so much, and you’ll learn
even more when the other side learns to say goodbye.
But as for me and my story?
I’m still here waiting for the other end.
Who knows, maybe the time when they realize that I’m fine will
come sooner than I think.
As I read this post I was filled with mixed emotions. I am extremely proud to have you as a daughter and am very grateful that Heavenly Father trusted your mother and I with your spirit. You are an amazing child with so much potential!!! The love that I have for you is endless and I hope that some day you will come to realize this. I know that at times I can seem unreasonable and harsh and I apologize for this. I only hope that someday you will understand what it means to be given the responsibility to raise a child of God. It bring unexplainable joy and heart stabbing pain as you realize that you are losing control and having to turn it over to your child. How dare your children grow up and think they don't need your guidance any more! I love you with all of my heart and only want what is best for you. I don't want you to get blinded by tunnel vision as you go on with your life. Please don't be afraid to come to me or your mom with anything that you need guidance with and we will do whatever we prayerfully feel is the right thing to do, even if it is not what you think you need to hear! I can tell when things are going good or bad for and can't stand to see you hurting!
ReplyDeleteI love you and always will!
Your father is so correct in what he wrote. Being a parent never stops no matter what age your child becomes. You are still always there for them 24/7, the worse pain is when they are hurting. The hardest thing to do as parents is to sometimes stand back and let them move on amd make decisons that you dont feel is right for them. I have had to do that with one or two of mine in the past. Although very painful for us we had to let them. It always works out okay in the end but very hard at the time. You are a wonderful person and have a wonderful family that loves you and wants the best for you. I am so inpressed with your strong faith and the girl you are and that has to come from the family that raised you well. Without knowing them i can tell how much they love you by how you are. Life is never easy no matter how young or old you are. But you brighten the lifes of people around you. Never lose who you are. I hope you know that we are also always here for you.Growing up is never easy but it does go very fast even tho it dont seem like it at the time. Love you, hang in there.
ReplyDeleteMy dad is right, I know. I have no idea what it's like to raise a child, and I don't know everything that comes along with a parent, because I've only experienced one side of the story. I have my ideas of what's best for raising kids, and they have theirs. I won't get to try mine out until I have kids of my own, which I'm very excited for, despite the horror I've cause my parents...which I really am sorry for, but compared to everything else out there, I find comfort in the fact that it really wasn't that bad.
ReplyDeleteI know it's scary to have to let go, and I'm not saying I expect ties to be completely severed, but there are some things that I'm only ever going to learn on my own. There's a comfort knowing that I have people who are going to have my back in what I do. But if my views and ideas are a little different than normal, it shouldn't be a bad thing. Children aren't only there to be taught, they are there to learn from, too. If I believe in good things, and I try MY best to be the greatest I can be, no matter how disappointed others might be that my best is not enough, I'm happy, because I know I'm giving it my all, and even if I'm not there yet, I'll get there eventually.
But, I guess the whole point of this little post is that no one really knows how I work and think and do what I do more than me or God. Plus, this is the only place where I'm free to say what I want without regrets. It's where I can vent and take everything out. This is my sanctuary, in a sense. It's like my violin. I get lost in what I write. This is documentation of my life. My kids can look back on this, someday.
I've always been pretty independent. I feel like the best way for me to learn, and yes I've prayed endlessly on this, is to figure out for myself, have my parents there in case I need them, but try by myself for once. I'm going to know with so much more of a surety that way. I'm grateful to have what wonderful parents I do, and everything they've given me. You know, dad, I really do love you and mom. Even if I'm a pain.
Wow just saw this a year later. You have it all figured out. What more is there to say. Your amazing!
ReplyDeletehaha, I know I have a ton more to learn! But I still think about this post all the time.
ReplyDeleteThanks Debbie :)