Lately, I've caught myself wondering just how much someone can take before they break into countless irreparable pieces. Obviously it's possible; I've seen and met so many people who feel like they just can't make it. They feel like prisoners in their own bodies, trapped in a cage that's darker than night. I've been with them as they've cried in pure agony at the life they live, unable to overcome the sadness. I've watched as they struggle to find the way out. Almost all of them have done something about it; whether that's been seeking help and guidance from friends, a church leader, a psychologist or medication...or tragically ending things all at once, too soon.
I've also met those who believe that they truly are living life, and desperately want to. They've climbed tall mountains, made several friends, lived in different places, experienced unique cultures... Some are just content with their life as it is -- simple as it is, but happy all the same. They are blissful. They are complete. They are glad to be living and breathing and surviving. But in the end, a higher being has bigger plans for them. Their eyes dim and their soul leaves. Just like that, too soon.
I've been the one to comfort the ones that are left behind. I can count the number of times nearly on one hand. I remember each situation like it was yesterday. In a couple cases, it was. I have seen the hope leave their eyes, so similar to the eyes of their deceased loved one. Only the eyes of the survivor shift from one thing to another, trying desperately to cling to something.
The words that always cross mind at one point or another when it happens?
God, it hurts.
Please, make it stop.
It's not fair.
There were so many times in this last month where I thought those words to myself. I studied for hours on end, only to fail in class. It's not fair. Work was exhausting, and the things that happened were hard to initially cope with. God, it hurts. I felt alone despite the fact that there were people I could talk to. One thing after another, and I thought toward the end of it all that I might be cursed to silently suffer forever. Please, make it stop.
But, if there's one thing I've learned through it all, it's that life was never meant to be fair. Pain will always exist. There will always be times where we want to escape, whether that be through the 'good' ways or 'bad' ones. We can change that, though. Human beings are a resilient species. The things we are capable of are absolutely incredible. The second I realized that I was stronger than the constant issues finding their way into my path, the problems seemed like nothing at all.
I'm extremely blessed to be living the life that I am; an almost nursing student, in love with music, her violin, reading and learning. I'm so incredibly fortunate to have the friends that I do. Especially my best friends. Without them...well, who knows where I would be right now. I am so grateful for the support that I am gifted with each day to remind me to push forward and keep being strong.
So yes, this last month sucked.
And yes, I struggled through it. Terribly.
But, I'm all the better for it. Things haven't completely looked up just yet, but they will.
They always do.
I understand, as should we all, that we will suffer as we walk through life. It will be difficult. There will always be times where we feel like it would be easier to throw in the towel and call it good. But, we are never alone. There are millions and billions of other people running, stumbling or walking with us.
Maybe it's time we made a bigger effort to reach out to each other. God knows it would help us all.
The words that always cross mind at one point or another when it happens?
God, it hurts.
Please, make it stop.
It's not fair.
There were so many times in this last month where I thought those words to myself. I studied for hours on end, only to fail in class. It's not fair. Work was exhausting, and the things that happened were hard to initially cope with. God, it hurts. I felt alone despite the fact that there were people I could talk to. One thing after another, and I thought toward the end of it all that I might be cursed to silently suffer forever. Please, make it stop.
But, if there's one thing I've learned through it all, it's that life was never meant to be fair. Pain will always exist. There will always be times where we want to escape, whether that be through the 'good' ways or 'bad' ones. We can change that, though. Human beings are a resilient species. The things we are capable of are absolutely incredible. The second I realized that I was stronger than the constant issues finding their way into my path, the problems seemed like nothing at all.
I'm extremely blessed to be living the life that I am; an almost nursing student, in love with music, her violin, reading and learning. I'm so incredibly fortunate to have the friends that I do. Especially my best friends. Without them...well, who knows where I would be right now. I am so grateful for the support that I am gifted with each day to remind me to push forward and keep being strong.
So yes, this last month sucked.
And yes, I struggled through it. Terribly.
But, I'm all the better for it. Things haven't completely looked up just yet, but they will.
They always do.
I understand, as should we all, that we will suffer as we walk through life. It will be difficult. There will always be times where we feel like it would be easier to throw in the towel and call it good. But, we are never alone. There are millions and billions of other people running, stumbling or walking with us.
Maybe it's time we made a bigger effort to reach out to each other. God knows it would help us all.
