You don't get to choose, you just fall in love and you get this person who is all wrong and all right at the same time. And you know you love them so much except sometimes they drive you completely insane--no one can explain it. And the reason it's so confusing is because it's love.
And if love didn't have challenges...
...what would be the point?
-Unkown
Who could have said it better?
I think this is exactly what I needed to hear the other day.
I've been struggling so much lately with what I want. With what I think I need and what I think should happen. I feel more now than ever that people who really shouldn't be getting in the way are. They probably don't even realize it, and maybe it's just the fact that I'm simply letting them that's causing such a problem. There's drama going on that I should even be involved in. I'm no longer in high school, it really angers me that I'm even remotely close to these people who are so rude to my family, and it makes me terribly sad that these arguments continue and do not end because of things that are said by both parties.
Then comes the lighting of old flames. Things that I thought that had been buried aren't any longer. I believe out of everything, this upsets me the most. I had really, truly thought that I had moved on and this was a chapter in my life that had closed and was never to be reopened. But, then again, I guess when people your closest to associate with people you no longer wish to be around, it happens. Surprisingly, it hurts. To know that this would happen hurts above all else. It makes me want to cringe into the darkness and stay there, wallowing in shame and guilt.
It really surprises me that with so much good that has been happening to me lately--I've been offered the start to my dream career, my family is in good health, my boyfriend has a job that he seems to like--that there's just as much bad wanting to crush me down.
Which brings me back to the quote.
I'll admit, no relationship is perfect. Not even mine, which sometimes, I really like to believe that it is. When it comes to love, I'm not sure what I'm a believer in: that there's just that one person out there for you, or that there's several people out there, and either one could fit. I do believe that you can't force yourself to love someone though. You can force yourself to be 'in love', which can be a terrible thing at times if your not careful, but true love is something you can't fake. It's taken me a really long time to learn that, and I feel like I'm still learning. I feel like we all are.
Years ago, when I first met Cory, I'm not even sure he believed he had it in him to love anyone other than his family. But looking at him now, seeing how much he's changed, I see what this quote means. I can personally feel what this quote means. This person, you just know that you love them. They drive you insane sometimes, of course, sometimes to the point of wanting to walk out the door, or even wanting to rip your hair out because you just don't get it. It really is insanity. But you still love them, you just know you do.
For me, it's really nice to know that I have Cory there for me. And not just him but my family and his family, too. It's like a whole little army to back me up. In times of doubt and discouragement, little reminders and strong people are a blessing.
Love and Life have their challenges. But everything worth fighting for has its challenges.
Some of the hardest things to do have the best of rewards.
